Finding sex painful? You’re not alone. Almost 1 in 10 women in the UK report pain during sex, ranging from occasional symptoms to severe distress. This can take a toll on your sex life, put pressure on relationships, and cause a great deal of anxiety, but you don’t have to suffer without answers.
Painful sex can actually have a wide range of causes, as well as plenty of solutions. To help you regain your confidence and feel comfortable in the bedroom, our gynaecological experts have put together this guide with everything you need to know.
What is Painful Sex?
Painful sex, known medically as dyspareunia, covers a wide variety of sensations. Some women, for instance, struggle with sharp pains and soreness from penetration, while others experience extreme cramps that make having sex very difficult.
Common symptoms of dyspareunia include:
- Sharp, stabbing pain
- Burning sensations
- Deep aches in the pelvis
- Severe cramping
- Throbbing pain
- Soreness after penetration
- Pain at the vaginal opening
- Tightness or spasming during sex
- Lingering pain after intercourse
How long the pain lasts can vary, ranging from discomfort at the beginning of intercourse to pain that lingers for hours after sex.
It’s important to note that painful sex isn’t unusual and can have any number of causes. While yours might be due to a medical condition, it could just as easily be down to how you’re having sex or your state of mind, all of which we’ll look at in closer detail in this guide.
No matter what your pain is caused by, the good news is that you don’t have to put up with it. Long gone are the days when women were told to lie back and think of England! Now, there’s a huge array of solutions that can control or remove your pain so that you can get back to enjoying time in the bedroom.
Causes of Painful Sex
Understanding what’s causing pain while having sex is the first step to finding a solution. Take a look at the potential triggers to learn more about what’s behind your discomfort:
Common Causes of Painful Sex
The reasons behind painful sex aren’t always a cause for concern. In many cases, discomfort is down to non-medical issues that are simple to solve, including:
- Vaginal dryness: Your vagina needs lubrication to ensure smooth, pain-free sex. If you find penetration leaves you feeling sore, try using a lubricant to reduce friction.
- Sex positions: Different sex positions can put pressure on sensitive areas, leading to sharp pains and aches. This is particularly common with positions that allow for deeper penetration.
- Labia and vulva irritation: Your labia and vulva are sensitive areas, and the friction of sex may cause issues like redness, swelling, and soreness.
- Insufficient arousal: If your body hasn’t had enough time to warm up, the vaginal muscles can stay tense, and you may struggle with dryness. This can make penetration feel tight, uncomfortable, or even sharp. Slowing down and focusing on foreplay will make a big difference.
- Recent sexual activity or irritation: If you’ve had a lot of sex in a short period of time, the vulva, labia, and vagina can become inflamed. This causes short-term soreness or stinging that usually settles with a break and some gentle care.
- Menstrual cycle changes: Around ovulation or just before periods, some people experience temporary changes in sensitivity or mild cramping during sex. This is often due to low estrogen levels, which can increase the severity of your pain.
- Contraception-related discomfort: Some contraception methods (like certain condoms, diaphragms, or spermicides) can irritate the vulva and vagina. Condom ingredients (such as latex or lubricants with warming sensations) can also trigger stinging or burning.
Medical Conditions
In some cases, painful sex is a sign of a more serious underlying issue. Many of these, however, are treatable, and we highly advise seeking the professional opinion of our gynaecologists if you think you might have an underlying condition.
Medical conditions that cause painful sex include:
- Infections: Yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can cause irritation and soreness that make sex painful. Look for other signs of infections and STIs, like unusual discharge or sores, to spot any issues early.
- Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID): This is an infection of the reproductive organs that can cause deep, throbbing pelvic pain during sex. It often comes with symptoms like fever, unusual discharge, and abdominal tenderness, and should be treated as soon as possible.
- Endometriosis: Endometriosis is a condition that causes cells that grow in the lining of the uterus to grow outside the womb, causing inflammation and scarring. It often leads to intense, deep pain and postcoital bleeding (bleeding after sex).
- Cancer: Cancers that affect the reproductive organs (like cervical and ovarian cancer) can sometimes cause pain during sex, as can the treatments for these cancers.
- Vulvodynia: This is chronic pain or burning around the vulva with no clear cause. Even light pressure, such as penetration or touch, can trigger sharp, stinging sensations.
- Uterine prolapse: When the pelvic floor muscles weaken, the uterus can shift downward, causing a feeling of heaviness and making intercourse uncomfortable or painful. It’s particularly common when pregnant or after giving birth.
- Cystitis: Infections in your urinary tract can cause your bladder to become inflamed. This is often characterised by burning pain that becomes worse during and after sex.
To gain a better understanding of the reason behind your pain, or if you think you have an underlying medical condition, speak to a medical professional.
Mental Health
Mental health is just as important as physical health when it comes to sex.
If you’re stressed or anxious during intercourse, you might be more at risk of vaginismus. This is when your vaginal muscles become tighter during penetration, making sex very difficult and leading to intense soreness.
You may also struggle with vaginismus if you’ve experienced sexual trauma. Around 24% of patients with vaginismus have suffered from sexual abuse, and 64% have negative relationships with their parents, highlighting the clear links between trauma and pain during sex.
If you’re experiencing vaginismus, it’s important to know that it’s completely involuntary and in no way is it your fault. This is a natural reaction of your body to stress and other triggers.
You also don’t have to rule out a healthy sex life. There are many treatment options for vaginismus, ranging from therapy and relaxation techniques to pelvic floor exercises.
If you’re struggling, reach out to our gynaecologists, and we’ll be happy to talk more about your options.
How to Treat Painful Sex
Painful sex isn’t uncommon. With around 43% of women experiencing sexual dysfunction – be it due to pain, anxiety, or lack of arousal – it’s normal to face hurdles in your sex life. The important thing is to seek help and treatment to make sex pleasurable again (or for the first time).
At Gynaedoctors, we’ve helped many clients regain confidence and joy in the bedroom. In this section, we’ll look at a few of the treatments that work well to target different causes of pain during sex.
(Do note that if you believe you have a medical condition, the best solution is to seek professional advice from a GP or one of our gynaecologists.)
Labiaplasty
If your pain is caused by friction on your labia, consider labiaplasty. This is a surgical procedure that reduces the size of your labia minora, decreasing the surface area to prevent irritation.
It’s a simple enough procedure that can be done either under local anaesthetic or sedation, with full healing taking around 6 weeks.
With a trusted team and years of experience performing labiaplasty, our team at Gynaedoctors can explain the process in more detail. We provide a safe, caring environment to talk through your options, ensuring you feel confident making a choice that’s right for you and your sex life.
Learn more about labiaplasty at Gynaedoctors.
Botox for Vaginismus
As we mentioned earlier in the article, vaginismus can be treated through therapy and relaxation. It can also be alleviated with Botox injections. These temporarily paralyze the vaginal muscles, relaxing the vagina so that you can have sex with ease and comfort.
The effects of Botox for vaginismus last for around 3-6 months, with repeat treatments necessary to maintain the benefits.
Learn more about Botox treatments for vaginismus.
Lubricants and Moisturisers
For many women, vaginal dryness and irritation can be fixed with a good-quality lube. Use it during sex to reduce friction and make penetration easier.
You can also explore options for vaginal moisturisers. These target dryness and irritation to provide long-lasting relief well beyond the bedroom. It’s an easy product to add to your self-care routine and one that could transform your sex life.
Pelvic Floor Therapy and Relaxation Techniques
Pelvic floor exercises can retrain your vaginal muscles, helping you relax when having sex. This is useful for vaginismus and hormone-related pain, in particular, and has a number of other excellent benefits, like improving bladder control.
Our gynaecologists can help advise you on pelvic floor exercises and gentle stretches you can do at home, alongside relaxation tips to reduce stress and anxiety before sex. Build confidence at your own pace with the help of our team.
Speak to Our Gynaecologists
Sex can be painful for any number of reasons. The most beneficial thing you can do for your sex life is to identify what’s causing your pain and begin exploring the right treatment options. That’s where we come in.
At Gynaedoctors, we offer a range of services for female health, including helpful consultations and surgeries, alongside product or treatment recommendations. Book a free consultation to chat with our team in a safe, caring environment and start your journey towards pain-free sex.
Get in touch with us today to learn more about how we can help.